Saint Peter's day off

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Tuesday, 22-Aug-2006 21:36:55

Saint Peter had a terrible cold and fever and didn't think he would
last the day minding the Pearly Gates of Heaven.

So he phoned Jesus to ask for the day off.

"Why, Peter," Jesus said. "You know your health is my first concern.
Take as much time as you need."

As Jesus pondered who he might use to replace Peter, he decided to
handle the job himself.

It was a very slow day and no one approached the Gates until late in
the afternoon, when in the distance, Jesus saw a bent, white-haired
old man slowly making his way up the path with the aid of a gnarled
cane.

As the man neared, Jesus said, "Good afternoon, sir. How may I help
you?"

"Well," replied the man, "I was hoping to enter the Gates of
Heaven."

"We would certainly love to have you," said Jesus, "but we do have
certain rules as to who can enter Heaven. Tell me, what have you done
to deserve such an honour?"

"Actually, I have done nothing so wonderful myself," said the man.
"I lived in a small town and led a simple life as a carpenter.

But my son," he continued, "now HE was special !"

With pride in his voice he said, "I raised him to be a carpenter
like myself and did my best to teach him right from wrong.

And when he grew older, an amazing transformation overcame him and
to this day he's known throughout the world and loved by all alike."

As Jesus listened to the story, a sense of recognition came to him.
With a lump in his throat and a tear in his eye, he threw open his
arms and cried, "Father!"

Emotional at this outburst, the old man threw open his arms and
yelled, "Pinocchio!"

Post 2 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Tuesday, 22-Aug-2006 21:57:10

By God Carla, your nose is going to grow if you don't quit posting these things with surprise endings. I spilled my glass of water all down my pants and...

brb

Bob

Post 3 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Tuesday, 22-Aug-2006 22:09:07

Oh come on Bob, you wet your pants and you know it. Stop blaming Carla for making you laugh and spilling water wehn we both know what really happened.

BTW, good joke Carla.

Post 4 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Tuesday, 22-Aug-2006 22:57:45

was not

Post 5 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Tuesday, 22-Aug-2006 22:59:11

Was too.

Post 6 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Wednesday, 23-Aug-2006 5:51:32

lol you two. and very funny joke. hahahaha

Post 7 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Wednesday, 23-Aug-2006 11:34:41

I'm funny, but Becky isn't!

Post 8 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Wednesday, 23-Aug-2006 13:25:06

Am too!

Post 9 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Wednesday, 23-Aug-2006 15:27:48

cut it out or you're both grounded and no computer for a week

Post 10 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Wednesday, 23-Aug-2006 19:20:51

Yeah but he started it (stomps foot and starts to cry).

Post 11 by Damia (I'm oppinionated deal with it.) on Wednesday, 23-Aug-2006 20:52:03

hmm children children... don't argue or carla might stop posting jokes and that would be bad... bobby be carefull where you put your water next time... i mean where your diper properly... :P lol

Post 12 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Wednesday, 23-Aug-2006 20:56:34

We wouldn't want Carla to stop posting her great jokes. I'll be good if Bob will.

Post 13 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Friday, 25-Aug-2006 22:54:33

Me? I'm always good. Right Miss Carla?